i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
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