oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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