I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
