A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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