if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
