Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
should my penis look like a turkey
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
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