are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
