Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
