What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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