My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
