Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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