FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
