i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
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