gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
Randomize
