So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
My dick has a subreddit
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
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