so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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