Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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