My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
tell me about the fingering
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
