If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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