why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Randomize
