Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
