he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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