I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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