he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
