I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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