I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Randomize
