it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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