oh god the rape fog is back!
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
