If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
