hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
