the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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