I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Randomize
