i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize