Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
