Non-Jews are for practice
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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