she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
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