every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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