just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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