Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
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