i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
operation have a gay friend backfired
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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