brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
