Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
