About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
