I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
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