i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
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