Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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