I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Randomize
