U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Randomize