fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
