Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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