Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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