were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
