i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
