Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
He? As in you personified your dick?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
