Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
