he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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