Your dad touched me again.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
