What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
