you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
