when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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