My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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