No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
