a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
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