the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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