My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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